Intentionally Getting

to Know One Another

by Bethany Joy

 

 

As I grow older, I want to be known. This wasn’t going to happen without my openness and the space to let myself be known good, bad, and ugly. In Episode 4 of The Creativity Cure, I talk about how I am going to live in a way that fosters real relationships that are strong. Here are some practical ways I am going to do that! Let me know what you think. What would you add?

 

 

Let’s Be Honest 

It was the first BIG step I had to take. Every day, I work on not going along to get along. As soon as I realized I wasn’t being understood, I worked harder to make sure I could be understood. Suppose I asked for guacamole at Chipotle and they said Queso I would speak up if the person heard something different about the food. On days when I’m having a tough day, I try to be honest with people about how I’m doing. It was only when I spoke honestly outwardly about how I felt that I was able to move through my emotions because I heard what my body was saying and I took action to move forward. While this doesn’t mean I’m right about everything, it does mean I deal with reality and let people know who I am and what my plans are. As I constantly engage in these little confrontations, I build my confidence for real big moments when I have to speak up.

 

Pay Attention 

The more I expressed what I felt inside, the more I noticed my needs and this really changed my life. If you know someone who gets hangry, you know what it feels like to argue and fight and then they eat and it’s all good. They probably felt hungry long before they got irritable. In the same way, when I listened to my needs, I noticed lots of additional needs I’d usually overlook until I got sick from lack of sleep or felt terrible from not taking care of myself. I mean I actually noticed when I was thirsty or hungry before I felt extremely irritable. Rather than being irritable towards my family when I get home from work, I could communicate decision fatigue. I did decide to go to therapy and it really helped me work through being out of tune. I began to feel more like the driver in my life and less like the rider of my emotions or lack thereof. 

 

Make Time to Get to Know People

Are there people you pass by every day and say hi to? Have you gotten to know your family well? How well do your friends know each other? Asking yourself these questions will help you find meaningful relationships and improve them. What you water grows. You have to be patient if you want to build a community. There’s a good chance you’ll be the one who calls and asks awkward questions. When your relationship with a sibling is always surface level, it’s hard. I actually find a lot of marriage podcasts so helpful because the key to all thriving relationships is communication. The Young Black Married Christian Podcast uses an acronym to remind you to go deep. They call it the BLESS framework. You ask questions about someone’s Body, Labor, Emotions, Social Life, and Spiritual Life. 

Body: How is your shoulder doing after you got hurt the other day?

Labor: What was work like for you today did you enjoy it?

Emotions: I know you were disappointed that you didn’t get a raise how are you feeling?

Social Life: How are your friends?

Spiritual Life: Are you hoping for anything? What are your dreams?

It might help you get to know your loved ones better by asking better questions. Try it out! The questions get deeper as you go along and you can actually repeat it to spark a good conversation.

 

Finally, Listen

Learning to listen is a skill. Learn how to listen if you want to succeed in community. It means asking follow-up questions! This means not adding to what someone said or twisting it to fit your needs. It means asking for clarity and repeating what they said. It means respecting people’s choices and preferences; sometimes we ignore them by not listening. Take the time to consider how your actions affect the people around you, without justifying them. I’m not going to pretend I’ve figured this out because this is hard. But if you learn to listen, you’d be surprised what people share about wanting to be connected.

I want to leave you with this last thought if you have trouble controlling peace by allowing your boundaries to be consistently crossed. 

One day, you may have to speak up for serious reasons like safety and protection. In an assailant safety class at work, there is a section that talks about how one of your defenses is your voice. Often, criminals will exploit people’s natural tendency toward friendliness. Some would look for those who were more concerned about being polite than speaking up. This reminded me that what you practice will become your reality. Practice talking to others, being honest in your emotions and thoughts, and verbalizing them even in disagreements, and you’ll be able to do it when it matters. The good thing about this is that you will attract people who see this as a good thing rather than people who like to dominate others. Your ability to listen to yourself will influence your ability to listen to others. It could be your children or your partner who benefit from the growth that happens when you choose to care for yourself the way you do for others. It starts with you. Practice with you. Be honest and build relationships that reflect you good bad and ugly. Check out this clip by Hailey Page Magee this one is for you people pleasers!

 

 

Thank you for checking out my blog! You can listen to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, and wherever you listen to podcasts. Watch me on YouTube as well by searching for The Creativity Cure. Let’s continue the conversation by joining Seen & Celebrated my weekly Newsletter where I share stories of women doing great things in Maryland. Subscribe for free below and access all of the stories.

 

I hope these tips are helpful, but I am only one person, so let me know what has worked for you! I can be reached here or via email at bethany@bethanyjphotography.com. Interested in collaborating on something creative? Commission a portrait! The booking period for 2023 is now open.

 

 

 

Keep Your Community Close

 

 

In The Creativity Cure’s latest podcast episode, I talk about how to keep a healthy community throughout life. While my community has always been around, friends can change and there have been seasons when my life changed and my need for community did too. For example, when I had my daughter I needed mom friends. Before being pregnant I never considered what friendship with kids would be like until I was right in it.  Another example would be from my friends who talk about the togetherness of college life and the loneliness when you suddenly are juggling multiple schedules and distance.

Creative people can work alone but do best when they are together and truthfully I think everyone needs community. Maybe you don’t need a crowd but everyone needs support. Growing and maintaining your community is a skill you can learn! Whether you move to a new city or just haven’t had friends here are some ideas about how I have thought about building and maintaining community.

 

The Fence

 

I got to a point this past year when I realized I needed to actively build community. I felt lonely and frustrated and overwhelmed. To share how I see community Imagine a 4-sided fence where a missing panel leaves you exposed or unsupported. This illustration (see below) helped me identify gaps and prioritize building my community. Check out this cringe diagram I drew explaining this concept. 

 

Let’s start with the left and right panels of the “fence.” These people I consider friends but on two levels. Some friends are a bit ahead of me. They may have more experience than I do and I learn from spending time with them. They also learn from me so it’s a mutual relationship similar to a good sibling relationship. On the other side of the fence, I have a friend I may be a bit ahead of in life with who I can share knowledge but still can lean on or rely on them for support. These friends can be found doing life with you. In my current life parenting is really relevant so I need to have some friends who are also in this season too! Some of my friends have an older kid or multiple and we can share the journey of motherhood. I also have some friends who are just starting parenting and I love encouraging them as they begin their journey too.

 

Serving

 

In the front of the community fence (see silly diagram above), I think of needing people to serve or lead. This can be at home or work but they are people I pour out to. I am their support system. I think of my daughter and my clients in this way because it’s my job to create a great experience for them. When I spend time with my daughter or clients, giving of myself I learn a lot about generosity and selflessness. It puts life in perspective and helps me to take what I have learned and break it down for example when working with my daughter or communicating to help a client understand an idea I have for a session. Having these responsibilities helps me to continually grow and to learn how to give to others and lead well. There are many people who need a friend like you to champion them. You may not feel like you have much to give but your struggles can help someone overcome their struggles. Serving can be for your younger relatives, a new employee at work, or at a boys and girls club. Regardless of what is going on in life find a way to give to those in need of your care. Communities won’t thrive if we don’t take the time to share the values, skills, and stories we have lived through with those who are younger or inexperienced.

 

Listening To Those Who Have Been There

 

    Finally, the back of the fence represents someone who has more experience, advice, and wisdom than me or my peers. This person is there for you to listen and they can be a shoulder for you to lean on. When I was looking at my “community fence” this was the piece that was missing. I love my friends but when I’m making big decisions I really appreciate the wisdom of my godmother. I feel safe being vulnerable with her in a different way because I know she has seen more than I have. Just sitting in the home of a mom who has more experience than I do lifts a huge weight off of my shoulders. I tell myself ” If she can do it, so can I!” If you rarely interact with people who are more experienced you should seek them out. I guarantee they are waiting to share their wisdom because they don’t want to see you make the mistakes you did. I MUST contribute a BIG amount of my growth over the past year to the wisdom of more experienced women in multiple areas of my life. I wouldn’t be where I am if I didn’t go and listen to them and take their advice when I felt unsure of how to handle different situations.

 

Bethany J. Photography is more than just a fine art practice. I build community. I make people seen and celebrated. Community is why I create and why I will always create. The truth is at the end of the day the people around me matter the most. They walk with me on my best and worst days, and for that reason, I work to keep my community close. I hope you have a community and if you don’t and you like what you see here, please join me by subscribing to Seen & Celebrated the Weekly email that I send out. I share short stories to celebrate Maryland natives who are doing great work for the community!

 

Hopefully, these are helpful tips but I am only one person so I would love to hear what has worked for you! Email me here or at bethany@bethanyjphotography.com. Also, commission a portrait with me to collaborate on a creative art piece! Booking is open for 2023.

 

 

 

 

What My Photography Was Like 5 Years Ago

Starting A Business While In College

When you don’t drink coffee.

 

I don’t know what I was thinking but I re-started my side business while in college probably from fumes of pure excitement. Formally I started Bethany J. photography in high school when a family friend hired me for Christmas photos. If you want to see the work I did back then and a cringe bathroom selfie of me in high school click here. I wanted to grow my business but I wasn’t sure how to go about it.  Have you ever been scared to ask people for money before because that is exactly how it felt at first? I decided to offer free sessions wherever I could in order to build my portfolio which was full of fine artwork. I think I had some imposter syndrome and didn’t feel official enough to actually charge anyone for my work. What I didn’t anticipate was how hard it would be to create family photography while also trying to create more in-depth work in school. I think any creative has been there if they have ever done both meaningful art and fun client work.  I don’t have a formula on how to do it but I can share my experience so you can get to know me a bit more. I have a big rebrand announcement coming and wanted to do this blog post so you can “grow up” with me and understand where I have been and where I am going. Stay tuned for next week’s launch of the new brand!

 

Getting real-world experience

Check out some of the work I created with my first clients. While I had worked on more artistic fine art photography learning to communicate with people for family and professional portraits was a new skill that involved learning to direct people on how to pose, and working with various lighting situations. 

 

 

Developing My Voice

While starting to shoot clients I was also in school learning to develop my voice visually. College is where I learned how to be purposeful with the techniques I had been taught as well as how to tell a story. Here are a few projects I think show my thinking over time by exploring self-portraits, costumes, and dramatic lighting.

Fairy Knots

This project was about my natural hair. I cut my hair in high school and remember being so nervous to have short hair. I learned a lot about myself having to accept my hair as it was. 

Growth

One thing I can reflect on is that during this period of my life, the growth really showed in my technique. I was able to bring that back to my clients. Here are a few samples of the work that I did with some great people!

 

What I look forward to is bringing back some of my passion when it comes from the fine art side of my practice while continuing to use the vibrancy and warmth that I brought to my client portraits. I also look forward to taking the time to make portraits with even more detail and thought. I hope if you are working on your own skills or craft that you choose not to give up. Everything takes practice and time. It took years for me to get to where I am and I still have room left to grow. I like to always say enjoy the journey the destination will come. I would love to hear about what your work looked like 5 years ago! Find me on Instagram @bethanyjphotography or email me by clicking the contact button. Also, stay tuned for my podcast The Creative Cure, and more information about my rebrand launch!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Dress Did Not Exist

The Fine Art Side of Photography

 

Let’s talk about the art side of photography. What makes your portrait “Fine Art?” I could give you a dictionary definition or dive into what makes art well- art. I think that it would be much more fun to show you what it means to me. I am going to share behind the scenes of creating the above portrait and how photography like painting, designing, or drawing is an art form. I am also going to share how you can create your own fine art photography.

 

 

Gathering Ideas

I had a vision in my mind of a vague idea for a portrait. It started with fans, gold lines, and playing with color combinations. I knew that the dress would be white but I didn’t know exactly how it would look. I am not Picasso with the pen but getting ideas on paper helps me to start thinking of possibilities. I looked at some of my favorite photographers for inspiration and continued playing with the idea in my head for a while. Art to me is about intention. It’s making choices to frame something or nothing in a particular way. When deciding on what you may want to photograph as fine art consider playing with sketches, color palettes, textures, and more. Collect these elements in one place so your brain can start imagining where your photo will go.

 

Creating The Canvas

The day came to shoot the portrait and I was nervous and excited. I am always nervous to do a good job but excited to make a new piece of work. When you think of a blank canvas you may think of a white plain piece of paper. For me, my canvas is an unedited photo. How I compose the subject, light, fabric, and exposure all create the base for a polished portrait. Having the basic sketch in mind helped me to walk with some confidence and guidance as we took photos. Photography is in part a time-based artform. I am composing a moment that will not exist exactly the same way ever again. I began to play with fabric and the train of a bridal gown letting my initial idea morph. As the picture became clearer in my mind I began to work with more excitement and my friend posing went along for the ride. It looked crazy but I saw the vision. Having a plan is important but considering the environment, you are in when you are photographing is just as important. There may be something special about that moment and as an artist, you can decide how you want to incorporate the uniqueness of the moment into your work. Street photographers capture unplanned uncanny moments of humanity. Landscape photographers capture the fleeting daylight, clouds, or weather. Photo Journalists capture history as it happens. As a fine art photographer, you tell the story and frame it for the audience leading them on a journey.

 

Finishing Touches 

After the session was done I uploaded my photos at home and looked through them. I looked at the expression, color, and reflections and began the polishing stages for the portrait. I considered making the gown a different color, creating a really full fluffy dress with insane volume but decided on adding just a touch more shape. I like to collaborate with the subject of the portrait so I spent a lot of time going back and forth with some questions with my friend in the photo. I listened to her thoughts and incorporated them into the final portrait so that we both agreed that it looked great! Getting feedback as you finish your art piece is incredibly helpful for navigating if the image is saying what you would like it to say. In my case, I wanted to play with shape and texture without looking bridal.  My friend’s collaboration helped me to make the finishing touches with the right emphasis and detail. Check out some of the processes as I transform the finishing touches. You can see me going back and forth on the pink but in the end, the contrast of the white won.

 

 

 

Art Is…

Art is intention, invention, creation, and experimentation. That is what I do. I construct and build and at the end of it, all my hope is that you see an amazing person presented beautifully. You may never know all of the behind-the-scenes steps and that is ok. Part of the joy is in the process. I hope you enjoyed this behind-the-scenes look! If you want to collaborate on an art piece or commission please email bethany@bethanyjphotography.com or click here.

Join the conversation about how 6 hours of drawing class taught me a lot on the latest episode of The Creativity Cure Podcast here.

 

What is your creative process? DM me on social media or email bethany@bethanyjphotography.

Subscribe to the weekly Creativity Cure Newsletter for unique content. I share your story of encouragement and growth, local creatives, and more! Sign up at the bottom of the page.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to Bethany J. Photography

What’s gonna be new?

As an artist who creates one-of-a-kind portraits to help people celebrate uniquely, I want to re-introduce my brand to friends and attract the community who will most benefit from my style of work.

 

The New Logo

 

 

 

Everything has started looking different around here. The new visual expression of my brand reflects more than just new fonts and color choices. This new logo is simple and classic and a bit more serious. I sought to emphasize my professionalism for every person who visits my website. When you see Bethany J. Photography here are the three values you will see.

 

 

 

Celebrating Originality | Crafted With Quality | Connected To Community

 

I thought long and hard about how I wanted to communicate what I felt about photography and the way I have served clients as an artist. These values encompass more than just my business but my personal belief in everything I do. Let’s dive into how I will be incorporating these three values into my business.

 

Celebrating Originality

You are original. I celebrate you by creating one-of-a-kind custom art portraits.

I consider your unique qualities and needs and then tailor my approach each time you get a portrait.

I create a distinctly original style developed over time and perfected daily.

 

Crafted With Quality

I invest time, resources, and research, and focus on each client fully.

With a passion for the craft of image making I use the best tools to craft your original portrait.

I use clear communication and careful planning to maintain a professional experience.

 

Connected to Community

We are neighbors, collaborators, and dreamers I work with you to create something new.

I give back to the creative community that helped me grow in the field I enjoy now.

I collaborate to build up, connect and support local or small businesses and crafters when possible.

 

Here is a small list that demonstrates the difference between what I currently offer compared to what I used to offer. 

 

 

 

As mentioned above I am shifting to not only incorporating being better focused on each individual client’s needs but also providing a service that creates portraits that you can treasure as key pieces for your home.

 

The Updated Style

 

Luxurious, classic, and dynamic are all words I would use to describe my new style. I drew a lot of inspiration from painters such as Ben Enwonwu from the African Modernist Movement and photographers such as Alaina Airitam’s series Golden Age (inspired by the Dutch Golden Age.) I sought artists who took extra care with deep skin tones, vibrant colors, and strong poses that felt part photography and part painterly. Additionally, I incorporated my signature glow, organic elements, and warm lighting.

 

 

Why commission a fine art photo portrait?

 

As an official patron of the fine arts here are the situations in which you might want to commission a portrait.

Celebrations + Milestones
Birthday
Anniversary
Graduation
Senior
Maternity
Couples

Professional/ Headshots
Editorial
Artist Portraits

 

What Will a Session Look Like

A session will start with a questionnaire after which we will schedule a 30-minute call to talk about you! This is an experience I want you to enjoy. We will get to know each other and then I will get to work creating your custom plan including your look, the location, and any custom set or props.

Additional options include a hair and make-up artist and a stylist consultation. Locations are historic mansions or natural reserves in Maryland. I also provide a full-length mirror during your session if you would like to see yourself posing. After the session, you choose your favorite portraits to keep and have the option to create a statement leather album or locally framed print. These portraits are meant to be seen big, think of them as signature pieces.

 

This is an experience you will have to try yourself! If you are ready to book your 2023 session please visit here and contact me!

 

 

New Podcast: The Creativity Cure

I am connected to the community and I want to strengthen my commitment. That is why I started the podcast The Creativity Cure. Not everyone will decide to get their portraits taken with me. I still want to share life with you! This podcast is to encourage women to rekindle the fire of creativity within. It’s not about any ability to design or take photos (even though those topics aren’t off-limits.) The Creativity Cure is about taking the skills I have developed to solve creative problems and sharing how you can use those same principles to increase your own problem-solving ability. We will talk about creative thinking, empathy, writing, and more! The first episode is live! Check it out!

 

I hope that this podcast becomes a place where I get to go deep with some of you. I want to encourage and inspire you to get up and go again. I will post new episodes every other Friday! In between episodes you can stay connected through The Creative Community newsletter! Keep reading for more.

 

Hearing from You

Finally, I want to build community and help connect those of us who enjoy being creative or enjoy supporting those who create. To make this space I created The Creativity Cure Newsletter. This newsletter shares updates from me but more importantly has room for you. I want to see your picture of the week, your encouraging story, your wins, and your favorite creators or businesses. Join the community so we can uplift each other!

 

Welcome to the NEW Bethany J. Photography. Booking is officially open for 2023 and I can’t wait to connect, grow, and create with you this year!

 

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How Bethany J. Photography is Changing

What’s gonna be new?

 

In one week I will be FINALLY sharing my new rebrand and what that means for my clients and followers! I am so excited because I know what’s coming and I hate keeping secrets! I wanna give you some idea of what is going to happen so you can get ready for the launch.

Fine Art Portraits Only

The biggest change will be in the kind of work I will complete for people. I will be shifting from the family photography service category to a fine art portrait photography practice. Here are the differences between the two, for future clients.

 

 

 

 

 

 

As mentioned above I am shifting to not only incorporating being better focused on each individual client’s needs but also providing a service that creates portraits that you can treasure as key pieces for your home.

 

Changing Style

My style has always been vibrant, warm, fun, and colorful. However, I don’t want to stop growing as a creator so for that purpose, I want to shift into creating work for you from a truer place of authenticity. I will continue to keep the key elements of my style but I will be pushing to create portraits that are a bit more in-depth, carefully lit, and filled with an element of wonder. Each session will be about creating a unique work. I want to invite clients to further explore their own creativity with me.

 

Inviting the Creative Community

In addition to inviting clients to collaborate I want to extend the community further by helping creative people, supporters, and more connect. I have so many individual conversations with clients, businesses, and more, and want to build a meeting ground. I will be doing this with the launch of a weekly newsletter that will be for people interested in sharing their triumphs, work, connections, products, and more. I want to hear your stories, see what moves you, and build up the creative community. I believe that coming together in an exclusive community will open the doors for great things to happen! Those who subscribe will get updates first and get the opportunity to share their opinions or ideas for topics to cover or events to share. I will also open the newsletter for small, local, or artisan brands to share their business.

 

 

New Podcast: The Creativity Cure

I will be launching my Podcast The Creativity Cure on February 17th. In working with clients in photography and design I realize that there is a large perception that being creative is purely a gift or talent. I believe that in a big way, creativity is a skill that can be fostered and cultivated in powerful ways. On my podcast, I will talk to women about how they can grow this skill and use it to change how they handle problems with business, relationships, and themselves. The podcast will be available on all platforms and will be streamed every other Friday.

 

Focusing In

I will be focusing on what I do so that I work with those who are on the same page and share the joy of being creative. This means that I will no longer be photographing events, weddings, parties, sports, or boudoir. Not to worry I will be on the lookout for photographers who excel at those segments to make sure you can still be covered. In fact, one of the great things about this change is that I will have a chance to branch out and collaborate with other photographers.

 

The next time I blog I will be reintroducing myself and going into more detail about how you can join The Creative Community and stay connected. You don’t want to miss this!  See you next week.

 

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