Intentionally Getting

to Know One Another

by Bethany Joy

 

 

As I grow older, I want to be known. This wasn’t going to happen without my openness and the space to let myself be known good, bad, and ugly. In Episode 4 of The Creativity Cure, I talk about how I am going to live in a way that fosters real relationships that are strong. Here are some practical ways I am going to do that! Let me know what you think. What would you add?

 

 

Let’s Be Honest 

It was the first BIG step I had to take. Every day, I work on not going along to get along. As soon as I realized I wasn’t being understood, I worked harder to make sure I could be understood. Suppose I asked for guacamole at Chipotle and they said Queso I would speak up if the person heard something different about the food. On days when I’m having a tough day, I try to be honest with people about how I’m doing. It was only when I spoke honestly outwardly about how I felt that I was able to move through my emotions because I heard what my body was saying and I took action to move forward. While this doesn’t mean I’m right about everything, it does mean I deal with reality and let people know who I am and what my plans are. As I constantly engage in these little confrontations, I build my confidence for real big moments when I have to speak up.

 

Pay Attention 

The more I expressed what I felt inside, the more I noticed my needs and this really changed my life. If you know someone who gets hangry, you know what it feels like to argue and fight and then they eat and it’s all good. They probably felt hungry long before they got irritable. In the same way, when I listened to my needs, I noticed lots of additional needs I’d usually overlook until I got sick from lack of sleep or felt terrible from not taking care of myself. I mean I actually noticed when I was thirsty or hungry before I felt extremely irritable. Rather than being irritable towards my family when I get home from work, I could communicate decision fatigue. I did decide to go to therapy and it really helped me work through being out of tune. I began to feel more like the driver in my life and less like the rider of my emotions or lack thereof. 

 

Make Time to Get to Know People

Are there people you pass by every day and say hi to? Have you gotten to know your family well? How well do your friends know each other? Asking yourself these questions will help you find meaningful relationships and improve them. What you water grows. You have to be patient if you want to build a community. There’s a good chance you’ll be the one who calls and asks awkward questions. When your relationship with a sibling is always surface level, it’s hard. I actually find a lot of marriage podcasts so helpful because the key to all thriving relationships is communication. The Young Black Married Christian Podcast uses an acronym to remind you to go deep. They call it the BLESS framework. You ask questions about someone’s Body, Labor, Emotions, Social Life, and Spiritual Life. 

Body: How is your shoulder doing after you got hurt the other day?

Labor: What was work like for you today did you enjoy it?

Emotions: I know you were disappointed that you didn’t get a raise how are you feeling?

Social Life: How are your friends?

Spiritual Life: Are you hoping for anything? What are your dreams?

It might help you get to know your loved ones better by asking better questions. Try it out! The questions get deeper as you go along and you can actually repeat it to spark a good conversation.

 

Finally, Listen

Learning to listen is a skill. Learn how to listen if you want to succeed in community. It means asking follow-up questions! This means not adding to what someone said or twisting it to fit your needs. It means asking for clarity and repeating what they said. It means respecting people’s choices and preferences; sometimes we ignore them by not listening. Take the time to consider how your actions affect the people around you, without justifying them. I’m not going to pretend I’ve figured this out because this is hard. But if you learn to listen, you’d be surprised what people share about wanting to be connected.

I want to leave you with this last thought if you have trouble controlling peace by allowing your boundaries to be consistently crossed. 

One day, you may have to speak up for serious reasons like safety and protection. In an assailant safety class at work, there is a section that talks about how one of your defenses is your voice. Often, criminals will exploit people’s natural tendency toward friendliness. Some would look for those who were more concerned about being polite than speaking up. This reminded me that what you practice will become your reality. Practice talking to others, being honest in your emotions and thoughts, and verbalizing them even in disagreements, and you’ll be able to do it when it matters. The good thing about this is that you will attract people who see this as a good thing rather than people who like to dominate others. Your ability to listen to yourself will influence your ability to listen to others. It could be your children or your partner who benefit from the growth that happens when you choose to care for yourself the way you do for others. It starts with you. Practice with you. Be honest and build relationships that reflect you good bad and ugly. Check out this clip by Hailey Page Magee this one is for you people pleasers!

 

 

Thank you for checking out my blog! You can listen to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, and wherever you listen to podcasts. Watch me on YouTube as well by searching for The Creativity Cure. Let’s continue the conversation by joining Seen & Celebrated my weekly Newsletter where I share stories of women doing great things in Maryland. Subscribe for free below and access all of the stories.

 

I hope these tips are helpful, but I am only one person, so let me know what has worked for you! I can be reached here or via email at bethany@bethanyjphotography.com. Interested in collaborating on something creative? Commission a portrait! The booking period for 2023 is now open.

 

 

 

The 5 Easy Ways to Get Great Grad Photos

by Bethany Joy

 

 

Graduation season is back! Everybody is prepared to celebrate their hard work this season and move on to greater things. There’s no doubt you earned it! Make the most of your graduation experience by taking the time to reflect on your accomplishments, both big and small. Cherish the memories and friendships you made along the way. Finally, don’t forget to celebrate your successes!

 

Using these tips, you can DIY amazing grad photos this season to make your photos as amazing as you are. My examples will be drawn from a real session I conducted.  You can use DIY graduation photography to capture your special moment when you have limited time. Take beautiful graduation photos with these simple tips.

 

The Location

 

 

Choosing a location that contrasts with your gown, your skin tone, and the school colors is best. You may want to consider mascots and places that have special memories for you. Contrasting colors and locations can add visual interest to your photos and can make the photos look more dynamic. Additionally, choosing locations or mascots that have special meaning to you can make your photos more meaningful.

Contrasting colors and locations draw the eye to the subject in the photo and can help to create a more interesting composition. Choosing a location or mascot with special meaning to the individual in the photos can add an additional layer of emotion and nostalgia, making the photos more meaningful and memorable.

 

The Lighting

 

 

Unless you have access to professional lighting, I recommend shooting outside in the evening when the sun is setting. When the sun is golden as it sets, it is flattering and not as harsh as during the daytime hours. Avoid standing under trees that cast shadows on your face, and consider bringing a white poster board to reflect light under your chin. To create the crisp focus effect, you should pose with your chosen background in the distance. Your photographer should stand equally distant from you as the background. This way, the light will be even across your face and body and the background will be out of focus, creating the desired crisp effect. This technique also allows you to shoot without the harsh shadows that are often seen when shooting in direct sunlight. Make sure you are far enough away from the background so it appears blurred. This will help create a more aesthetically pleasing image. Finally, ensure that you and your photographer are standing at an angle to the sun, to reduce the harsh shadows that can be caused by directly facing the sunlight.

 

Posing

 

 

On your cards, banners, and social media posts, you will want to use several classic poses to make your cards, banners, and posts stand out. Take a picture of just your outfit without a cap and gown. You can use this for your professional profile headshots. It is best to do this before putting on your grad cap since it may mess up your hair. Next, take open-gown photos with your grad cap on. You should consider whether you want the graduation tassel to be on the appropriate side. You should take full-body shots of yourself walking toward the camera as well as mid-body shots. After that, zip up the gown and repeat the process. Capture some close-up shots of your face smiling at and away from the camera. Here is where you may want to add props such as a fake diploma or sports equipment depending on your favorite activities. Don’t forget to take a picture with your tassel, your graduation cap, and of course the classic cap toss. Full-body shots show your whole outfit, while mid-body shots emphasize details such as the tassel, diploma, or any props you choose to include. Close-up shots of your face capture the joy of the moment and having props that represent your favorite activities makes the photos more personal and memorable.

 

The Props

 

 

You can create a session that is unique or classic to suit your style. Create your own style or theme by incorporating it into your session. In my examples, Zoë did a Meg The Stallion-themed shoot. The outfit involved cute accessories and a cute look. Whether you are a member of a club, a movie fan, or a sports fan, display your personality through your outfit and props. Don’t be afraid to express yourself with what you wear and use props. This could be a colorful outfit, a favorite movie poster, or the jersey of your favorite sports team.

 

Create Something Unique

 

 

Have fun trying different looks and enjoy yourself. It is HARD to graduate from high school or college and you deserve to be celebrated! Congratulations to the class of 2023, the best is yet to come! Embrace the moment and don’t be afraid to try things you’ve never done before. This is your chance to make a statement and you want your look to reflect who you are and the milestone you are celebrating. You should be proud of your achievements and eagerly look forward to what lies ahead.

You will be seen and celebrated with my one-of-a-kind fine art photography portraits. For more information about next-level all-inclusive graduation photography, please message me here! I provide comprehensive and tailored photography services, so you can cherish this special moment for a lifetime.

I hope these tips are helpful, but I am only one person, so let me know what has worked for you! I can be reached here or via email at bethany@bethanyjphotography.com. Interested in collaborating on something creative? Commission a portrait! The booking period for 2023 is now open.

 

 

 

 

Keep Your Community Close

 

 

In The Creativity Cure’s latest podcast episode, I talk about how to keep a healthy community throughout life. While my community has always been around, friends can change and there have been seasons when my life changed and my need for community did too. For example, when I had my daughter I needed mom friends. Before being pregnant I never considered what friendship with kids would be like until I was right in it.  Another example would be from my friends who talk about the togetherness of college life and the loneliness when you suddenly are juggling multiple schedules and distance.

Creative people can work alone but do best when they are together and truthfully I think everyone needs community. Maybe you don’t need a crowd but everyone needs support. Growing and maintaining your community is a skill you can learn! Whether you move to a new city or just haven’t had friends here are some ideas about how I have thought about building and maintaining community.

 

The Fence

 

I got to a point this past year when I realized I needed to actively build community. I felt lonely and frustrated and overwhelmed. To share how I see community Imagine a 4-sided fence where a missing panel leaves you exposed or unsupported. This illustration (see below) helped me identify gaps and prioritize building my community. Check out this cringe diagram I drew explaining this concept. 

 

Let’s start with the left and right panels of the “fence.” These people I consider friends but on two levels. Some friends are a bit ahead of me. They may have more experience than I do and I learn from spending time with them. They also learn from me so it’s a mutual relationship similar to a good sibling relationship. On the other side of the fence, I have a friend I may be a bit ahead of in life with who I can share knowledge but still can lean on or rely on them for support. These friends can be found doing life with you. In my current life parenting is really relevant so I need to have some friends who are also in this season too! Some of my friends have an older kid or multiple and we can share the journey of motherhood. I also have some friends who are just starting parenting and I love encouraging them as they begin their journey too.

 

Serving

 

In the front of the community fence (see silly diagram above), I think of needing people to serve or lead. This can be at home or work but they are people I pour out to. I am their support system. I think of my daughter and my clients in this way because it’s my job to create a great experience for them. When I spend time with my daughter or clients, giving of myself I learn a lot about generosity and selflessness. It puts life in perspective and helps me to take what I have learned and break it down for example when working with my daughter or communicating to help a client understand an idea I have for a session. Having these responsibilities helps me to continually grow and to learn how to give to others and lead well. There are many people who need a friend like you to champion them. You may not feel like you have much to give but your struggles can help someone overcome their struggles. Serving can be for your younger relatives, a new employee at work, or at a boys and girls club. Regardless of what is going on in life find a way to give to those in need of your care. Communities won’t thrive if we don’t take the time to share the values, skills, and stories we have lived through with those who are younger or inexperienced.

 

Listening To Those Who Have Been There

 

    Finally, the back of the fence represents someone who has more experience, advice, and wisdom than me or my peers. This person is there for you to listen and they can be a shoulder for you to lean on. When I was looking at my “community fence” this was the piece that was missing. I love my friends but when I’m making big decisions I really appreciate the wisdom of my godmother. I feel safe being vulnerable with her in a different way because I know she has seen more than I have. Just sitting in the home of a mom who has more experience than I do lifts a huge weight off of my shoulders. I tell myself ” If she can do it, so can I!” If you rarely interact with people who are more experienced you should seek them out. I guarantee they are waiting to share their wisdom because they don’t want to see you make the mistakes you did. I MUST contribute a BIG amount of my growth over the past year to the wisdom of more experienced women in multiple areas of my life. I wouldn’t be where I am if I didn’t go and listen to them and take their advice when I felt unsure of how to handle different situations.

 

Bethany J. Photography is more than just a fine art practice. I build community. I make people seen and celebrated. Community is why I create and why I will always create. The truth is at the end of the day the people around me matter the most. They walk with me on my best and worst days, and for that reason, I work to keep my community close. I hope you have a community and if you don’t and you like what you see here, please join me by subscribing to Seen & Celebrated the Weekly email that I send out. I share short stories to celebrate Maryland natives who are doing great work for the community!

 

Hopefully, these are helpful tips but I am only one person so I would love to hear what has worked for you! Email me here or at bethany@bethanyjphotography.com. Also, commission a portrait with me to collaborate on a creative art piece! Booking is open for 2023.

 

 

 

 

Creating Through Collaboration

When a Model, Stylist,

and Photographer Get Together

 

I am excited to share an exciting project I worked on with model and entrepreneur Anita Ofori and Yvonne of divinehair.com. We got together to collaborate on a series of portraits that show all of our creative experience.

 

 

 

Working with a team is the best way to create hands down. On this day we got together we pulled different dresses, makeup looks, and hair. We worked outdoors and indoors to create different looks. I enjoyed having access to the professionalism of both of these women and was happy to listen to their input as we worked.  Honestly, this was one of the most fun experiences I have had creating portraits.

 

Racing The Sun

We raced against the sunset to take advantage of a quarry lake. We played with lighting from a flash and from the sun which was perfectly golden. I learned invaluable information about modeling with Anita and her movements as well as from Yvonne with her experience in the industry as well. Check out some of my favorite shots from the sessions outdoors!

 

We then moved indoors and did studio looks. This was particularly fun for me because I got a chance to create with my portrait style in mind. I wanted to create strong light, vibrant colors, and highlight Anita’s personality as a model. Take a look below at some of my favorite images from the session! 

Thanks again to Anita and Yvonne I look forward to working with both of you again! To learn more about both of these ladies follow Anita on Instagram here: @anitaofori Follow Yvonne on Instagram here: @vonslayz.

 

 

What is your creative process? DM me on social media or email bethany@bethanyjphotography and let me know! 

Subscribe to the weekly Creativity Cure Newsletter for unique content. I share your story of encouragement and growth, local creatives, and more! Sign up for free at the bottom of the page to access all exclusive stories.

 

 

 

 

 

Practice Practice

Crafting with Quality

 

 

I couldn’t stand drawing but I learned how to be better purely because of practice. In Episode 2 of The Creativity Cure, I shared how I learned to have a growth mindset by challenging the notion that I should only pursue skills I am naturally “good” at. I believe that many of the best demonstrate the tenacity to practice repeatedly. You can listen to my podcast here to get the full recap. I always share some practical ways you can start thinking like an artist and harness creativity to improve your life. Here are 4 ways to practice like an artist everyday.

 

 

Research

Learning to lean on those who have been there and done that is huge! Investing time in learning or listening to anyone with experience is a skill but asking the right questions is the key. You probably do research every day. When you decide what to eat or what shoes to buy,  you do research. Learning to track your research with writing is a powerful thing as well. You never know when that old note will help! Artists always have a curated folder of references, inspirations, tools, sketches and more. Everything is an inspiration for a future idea

 

Try Again

Practice again and again. Before you put out your next big thing, practice. Practicing is hard for me because I get so excited about a photo or blog or new video that I skip practice. I usually end up having to go back and slow down anyway. So embrace practicing, prototyping, testing, and modeling whenever you can. Even using paper and pen, your phone whatever. Create sketches, rough drafts, and scripts or outlines. Rarely does your work fully arrive there is always room to improve.

 

 

Feedback

Ask for feedback. Getting and giving feedback happens 24/7 in the design and art worlds. It’s critical to understand your impact on those around you. It’s important to learn how to take feedback and process it without changing everything to please everyone. Regularly seek to understand how you are perceived when you are leading a project or team. Seek to listen and then record and analyze your feedback to ensure that you are creating an impact the way you intend to.

 

 

Review

Go back again. Remember the relief of turning your project in just in time for the deadline at work? Well as an artist after a critique of your final project, we are encouraged to keep improving the final. So if you want to exercise that creative muscle go back to your work or project and look a third time after receiving feedback. Instead of striving to get “perfectly done” learn to live with the idea that it’s ok to improve. In some ways, you have to believe that the need to get better doesn’t mean you failed. It’s a natural part of learning and creating.

 

Hopefully, these are helpful tips but I am only one person so I would love to hear what has worked for you! Email me here or at bethany@bethanyjphotography.com. Also, commission a portrait with me to collaborate on a creative art piece! Booking is open for 2023.

 

 

 

 

 

4 Ways to Re-engage Your Creative Thinking

Celebrating Your Originality

 

 

Last Friday I launched the 1st episode of my podcast the creativity cure. We talked about how to celebrate your originality. I focused on how we should embrace our unique perspective in life and cultivate it to bring joy, creative problem-solving, and a sense of freedom. You can listen to my podcast here to get the full recap. Below I expand on the practical ways I re-engaged creativity in my life.

 

 

Ask people what they notice about you.

Ask people what they notice about you. If you haven’t done this exercise it’s a great way to get perspective. When I asked a trusted friend to give me feedback on what they noticed about me it was surprisingly refreshing because they mentioned things I wouldn’t have noticed. Feedback is the tool that businesses, apps, websites, designers, and artists use to ensure they are communicating clearly with the intended party. In our personal lives, we can use feedback to understand what we communicate to the outside world. You may not realize that you give great advice or have an eye for detail. Hearing someone mention this will help you recognize ways you are unique and talented.

 

Journal Your Joy

When you find something that sparks life in you write it down. I started doing this when I had so many ideas my brain was scattered. By tracking my thoughts I was able to narrow down some consistent patterns in what excites me. Creativity involves being unconventional and that means our creative expression can be unconventional. Even if it seems mundane to you if you enjoy it write it down and think about why. The more you clarify what it is you enjoy creating the better you become at finding ways to express this at home or at work.

 

 

Remember Your Childhood

Adulting is hard. It’s work and life can be tough. When we are kids we may have been freer to think about how big and exciting life could be. Revisiting what you enjoyed is a great exercise to access that part of yourself. I know there were activities I simply forgot I loved. Finding ways to bring back my love for lighting in photography and music and dance became a way to bring joy back to my current life even with all the busyness.

 

 

Finding Time to Play

Finally to reengage your creativity find a way to facilitate uninhibited exploration. That’s how I define play. I don’t want to make it narrow but our brains thrive when we give space to challenge ourselves to think outside of the box. Play comes in all shapes and sizes but I do think it’s important that it’s not a stressful thing. Play for me is making up websites just to see what I can do. It can be writing or cooking it could even be how you create your workout. Play is a necessity and when life is tough a moment of creativity can inspire hope that things can be better. Play is important because we engage with pushing what’s possible. When we can freely think through our problems looking for solutions instead of focusing on limitations we open the door to new solutions and possibilities. Our ability to play is connected to this.

 

Hopefully, these are helpful tips but I am only one person so I would love to hear what has worked for you! Email me here or at bethany@bethanyjphotography.com. Also, commission a portrait with me to collaborate on a creative art piece! Booking is open for 2023.