Category: podcast

 

Intentionally Getting

to Know One Another

by Bethany Joy

 

 

As I grow older, I want to be known. This wasn’t going to happen without my openness and the space to let myself be known good, bad, and ugly. In Episode 4 of The Creativity Cure, I talk about how I am going to live in a way that fosters real relationships that are strong. Here are some practical ways I am going to do that! Let me know what you think. What would you add?

 

 

Let’s Be Honest 

It was the first BIG step I had to take. Every day, I work on not going along to get along. As soon as I realized I wasn’t being understood, I worked harder to make sure I could be understood. Suppose I asked for guacamole at Chipotle and they said Queso I would speak up if the person heard something different about the food. On days when I’m having a tough day, I try to be honest with people about how I’m doing. It was only when I spoke honestly outwardly about how I felt that I was able to move through my emotions because I heard what my body was saying and I took action to move forward. While this doesn’t mean I’m right about everything, it does mean I deal with reality and let people know who I am and what my plans are. As I constantly engage in these little confrontations, I build my confidence for real big moments when I have to speak up.

 

Pay Attention 

The more I expressed what I felt inside, the more I noticed my needs and this really changed my life. If you know someone who gets hangry, you know what it feels like to argue and fight and then they eat and it’s all good. They probably felt hungry long before they got irritable. In the same way, when I listened to my needs, I noticed lots of additional needs I’d usually overlook until I got sick from lack of sleep or felt terrible from not taking care of myself. I mean I actually noticed when I was thirsty or hungry before I felt extremely irritable. Rather than being irritable towards my family when I get home from work, I could communicate decision fatigue. I did decide to go to therapy and it really helped me work through being out of tune. I began to feel more like the driver in my life and less like the rider of my emotions or lack thereof. 

 

Make Time to Get to Know People

Are there people you pass by every day and say hi to? Have you gotten to know your family well? How well do your friends know each other? Asking yourself these questions will help you find meaningful relationships and improve them. What you water grows. You have to be patient if you want to build a community. There’s a good chance you’ll be the one who calls and asks awkward questions. When your relationship with a sibling is always surface level, it’s hard. I actually find a lot of marriage podcasts so helpful because the key to all thriving relationships is communication. The Young Black Married Christian Podcast uses an acronym to remind you to go deep. They call it the BLESS framework. You ask questions about someone’s Body, Labor, Emotions, Social Life, and Spiritual Life. 

Body: How is your shoulder doing after you got hurt the other day?

Labor: What was work like for you today did you enjoy it?

Emotions: I know you were disappointed that you didn’t get a raise how are you feeling?

Social Life: How are your friends?

Spiritual Life: Are you hoping for anything? What are your dreams?

It might help you get to know your loved ones better by asking better questions. Try it out! The questions get deeper as you go along and you can actually repeat it to spark a good conversation.

 

Finally, Listen

Learning to listen is a skill. Learn how to listen if you want to succeed in community. It means asking follow-up questions! This means not adding to what someone said or twisting it to fit your needs. It means asking for clarity and repeating what they said. It means respecting people’s choices and preferences; sometimes we ignore them by not listening. Take the time to consider how your actions affect the people around you, without justifying them. I’m not going to pretend I’ve figured this out because this is hard. But if you learn to listen, you’d be surprised what people share about wanting to be connected.

I want to leave you with this last thought if you have trouble controlling peace by allowing your boundaries to be consistently crossed. 

One day, you may have to speak up for serious reasons like safety and protection. In an assailant safety class at work, there is a section that talks about how one of your defenses is your voice. Often, criminals will exploit people’s natural tendency toward friendliness. Some would look for those who were more concerned about being polite than speaking up. This reminded me that what you practice will become your reality. Practice talking to others, being honest in your emotions and thoughts, and verbalizing them even in disagreements, and you’ll be able to do it when it matters. The good thing about this is that you will attract people who see this as a good thing rather than people who like to dominate others. Your ability to listen to yourself will influence your ability to listen to others. It could be your children or your partner who benefit from the growth that happens when you choose to care for yourself the way you do for others. It starts with you. Practice with you. Be honest and build relationships that reflect you good bad and ugly. Check out this clip by Hailey Page Magee this one is for you people pleasers!

 

 

Thank you for checking out my blog! You can listen to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, and wherever you listen to podcasts. Watch me on YouTube as well by searching for The Creativity Cure. Let’s continue the conversation by joining Seen & Celebrated my weekly Newsletter where I share stories of women doing great things in Maryland. Subscribe for free below and access all of the stories.

 

I hope these tips are helpful, but I am only one person, so let me know what has worked for you! I can be reached here or via email at bethany@bethanyjphotography.com. Interested in collaborating on something creative? Commission a portrait! The booking period for 2023 is now open.

 

 

 

Practice Practice

Crafting with Quality

 

 

I couldn’t stand drawing but I learned how to be better purely because of practice. In Episode 2 of The Creativity Cure, I shared how I learned to have a growth mindset by challenging the notion that I should only pursue skills I am naturally “good” at. I believe that many of the best demonstrate the tenacity to practice repeatedly. You can listen to my podcast here to get the full recap. I always share some practical ways you can start thinking like an artist and harness creativity to improve your life. Here are 4 ways to practice like an artist everyday.

 

 

Research

Learning to lean on those who have been there and done that is huge! Investing time in learning or listening to anyone with experience is a skill but asking the right questions is the key. You probably do research every day. When you decide what to eat or what shoes to buy,  you do research. Learning to track your research with writing is a powerful thing as well. You never know when that old note will help! Artists always have a curated folder of references, inspirations, tools, sketches and more. Everything is an inspiration for a future idea

 

Try Again

Practice again and again. Before you put out your next big thing, practice. Practicing is hard for me because I get so excited about a photo or blog or new video that I skip practice. I usually end up having to go back and slow down anyway. So embrace practicing, prototyping, testing, and modeling whenever you can. Even using paper and pen, your phone whatever. Create sketches, rough drafts, and scripts or outlines. Rarely does your work fully arrive there is always room to improve.

 

 

Feedback

Ask for feedback. Getting and giving feedback happens 24/7 in the design and art worlds. It’s critical to understand your impact on those around you. It’s important to learn how to take feedback and process it without changing everything to please everyone. Regularly seek to understand how you are perceived when you are leading a project or team. Seek to listen and then record and analyze your feedback to ensure that you are creating an impact the way you intend to.

 

 

Review

Go back again. Remember the relief of turning your project in just in time for the deadline at work? Well as an artist after a critique of your final project, we are encouraged to keep improving the final. So if you want to exercise that creative muscle go back to your work or project and look a third time after receiving feedback. Instead of striving to get “perfectly done” learn to live with the idea that it’s ok to improve. In some ways, you have to believe that the need to get better doesn’t mean you failed. It’s a natural part of learning and creating.

 

Hopefully, these are helpful tips but I am only one person so I would love to hear what has worked for you! Email me here or at bethany@bethanyjphotography.com. Also, commission a portrait with me to collaborate on a creative art piece! Booking is open for 2023.

 

 

 

 

 

4 Ways to Re-engage Your Creative Thinking

Celebrating Your Originality

 

 

Last Friday I launched the 1st episode of my podcast the creativity cure. We talked about how to celebrate your originality. I focused on how we should embrace our unique perspective in life and cultivate it to bring joy, creative problem-solving, and a sense of freedom. You can listen to my podcast here to get the full recap. Below I expand on the practical ways I re-engaged creativity in my life.

 

 

Ask people what they notice about you.

Ask people what they notice about you. If you haven’t done this exercise it’s a great way to get perspective. When I asked a trusted friend to give me feedback on what they noticed about me it was surprisingly refreshing because they mentioned things I wouldn’t have noticed. Feedback is the tool that businesses, apps, websites, designers, and artists use to ensure they are communicating clearly with the intended party. In our personal lives, we can use feedback to understand what we communicate to the outside world. You may not realize that you give great advice or have an eye for detail. Hearing someone mention this will help you recognize ways you are unique and talented.

 

Journal Your Joy

When you find something that sparks life in you write it down. I started doing this when I had so many ideas my brain was scattered. By tracking my thoughts I was able to narrow down some consistent patterns in what excites me. Creativity involves being unconventional and that means our creative expression can be unconventional. Even if it seems mundane to you if you enjoy it write it down and think about why. The more you clarify what it is you enjoy creating the better you become at finding ways to express this at home or at work.

 

 

Remember Your Childhood

Adulting is hard. It’s work and life can be tough. When we are kids we may have been freer to think about how big and exciting life could be. Revisiting what you enjoyed is a great exercise to access that part of yourself. I know there were activities I simply forgot I loved. Finding ways to bring back my love for lighting in photography and music and dance became a way to bring joy back to my current life even with all the busyness.

 

 

Finding Time to Play

Finally to reengage your creativity find a way to facilitate uninhibited exploration. That’s how I define play. I don’t want to make it narrow but our brains thrive when we give space to challenge ourselves to think outside of the box. Play comes in all shapes and sizes but I do think it’s important that it’s not a stressful thing. Play for me is making up websites just to see what I can do. It can be writing or cooking it could even be how you create your workout. Play is a necessity and when life is tough a moment of creativity can inspire hope that things can be better. Play is important because we engage with pushing what’s possible. When we can freely think through our problems looking for solutions instead of focusing on limitations we open the door to new solutions and possibilities. Our ability to play is connected to this.

 

Hopefully, these are helpful tips but I am only one person so I would love to hear what has worked for you! Email me here or at bethany@bethanyjphotography.com. Also, commission a portrait with me to collaborate on a creative art piece! Booking is open for 2023.